• it is related to building or maintaining relationships and does not inherently require me to take notes, send texts or emails, follow up, prepare materials, renegotiate any existing commitments, stay longer than i want to, or heavily mask (or otherwise conceal any of my identities, cultures, or experiences).

• it fits into existing commitments or projects.

• one or more reliable people agree to do it with me.

• it is in alignment with my existing values.

• i sense a clear “yes” from myself about it.

if you notice me saying yes to anything that does not meet these criteria, please do shame me as ruthlessly as you can.

if you know me and think of anything i may have left off, please do let me know. especially because the first time i was ready to hit “publish,” wordpress logged me out without saving any kind of draft. augh.